So, I’ve been away so long that my own husband has said he’s giving up on my blog. Sorry about that. It’s just been an extended busy season that has unfortunately collided with a season of insomnia. I’ve been dealing with a bout of shingles and a sinus infection on top of that, and I spent a week away at trust school for work, too. All that to say, I think about blogging here often, but I haven’t been able to actually charge my laptop, sit down uninterrupted with all synapses firing, and actually type anything. So here’s my frail attempt:
Life is crazy but good. I have so many reasons to be thankful to God. I admit, however, that I struggle to understand why I have such trouble sleeping. I’ve tried so many different things: melatonin only gives me crazy dreams but not good sleep, Benadryl or Tylenol PM gets me about 4 hours, but then I’m wide awake, and magnesium doesn’t do anything. Even heavy duty prescription sleeping pills aren’t reliable for me, and I don’t want to be dependent on those. I’ve tried the sleep hygiene suggestions you can find online, but my problem isn’t getting to sleep; I fall asleep pretty easily. It’s the staying asleep that’s the problem. If I wake up, my brain kicks on, and I can’t figure out how to turn it off and get back to sleep. It’s really hard to get by on 4 or 6 hours of sleep, and lately I’ve had nights with 2 to 3 hours.
What’s so frustrating about being awake in the middle of the night is that everything is worse at two in the morning. I’ll pray and then worry, and then I realize that and pray again. I give my anxieties to God, snatch them back, give them to Him, and snatch them back. Tug-of-war in the wee hours is exhausting, y’all.
Well, enough of that. I know some of you can relate, and some of you sleep like rocks and have no idea what I’m talking about. Insomnia comes and goes for me, so maybe it will be going soon. And maybe my blog will wake up.