[a repost from January 2013]
Early Sunday morning I awoke anxious and angry. Added to that was frustration that on my one morning to sleep in a little, I was awake, tossing and turning. I finally got up, made tea, and got back in bed with my journal, Bible, and Psalms study material, grumbling all the while.
I prayed for God to give me wisdom and show me how to deal with anger at a person and about a situation. It’s an ongoing thing, but there are times that it flares up and affects me even physically — disrupting sleep and giving me heartburn. This is one of those times. I’ve run out of words to pray, and I’m ever so grateful that Christ intercedes for me. So I prayed a rather simple prayer asking for help and then turned to my study of Psalm 37. My sister just gave me Derek Kidner’s commentary, and I finally had a chance to dig in.
Kidner looks at the advice of the psalmist, Fret not yourself, and summarizes the encouragement that follows the opening verse as Look ahead! (focus on eternity — God’s time), Look up!, and Be constructive!
Here is part of what he writes on Look up!
An obsession with enemies and rivals cannot be simply switched off, but it can be ousted by a new focus of attention; note the preoccupation with the Lord himself, expressed in the four phrases that contain his name here. It includes a deliberate redirection of one’s emotions (4a take delight; cf. Paul and Silas in prison, singing as well as praying), and an entrusting of one’s career (your way, 5) and reputation (your vindication, 6) to him. This is a liberation…
I take this as an answer to my anger. God is reminding me through his Word, explained by a wise teacher, that I need to take my eyes off the other person, off the anger itself, off the situation, and put them on Him! I am to deliberately redirect my emotions and be preoccupied with God, not myself and my circumstances. When I asked Him in prayer to give me wisdom and guidance, He answered quickly. Not an easy answer, but a simple one. Now, I will work to take captive my thoughts and focus on Him, the One who loves me so well.
I began the morning angry and anxious, and in a matter of moments, my Lord lifted my head. I get the distinct impression that He cares for me! 😉
Oh, Father, how good you are to me! How slow of heart and stubborn I am, yet you continue to show Your love to me for Christ’s sake. Forgive me for my unbelief, and by Your presence and Your Spirit, remind me to turn my thoughts to You. Thank You!
(By the way, there’s more good stuff here in Kidner’s book, but I’ll just leave you with this for now.)