A few lines from The Course of Love by Alain de Botton:
Our understanding of love has been hijacked and beguiled by its first distractingly moving moments. We have allowed our love stories to end way too early. We seem to know far too much about how love starts, and recklessly little about how it might continue.
…and she is curious because she knows, better than most, that there is no one more likely to destroy us than the person we marry.
He would find it so much easier to give blood to an injured child in Badakhshan or to carry water to a family in Kandahar than to lean across and say sorry to his wife.
Kirsten wants a blow-by-blow account because that’s how she copes with anxiety: she hangs on to and arranges the facts. She doesn’t want to let on directly quite how worried she is. Her style is to be reserved and focus on the administrative side. Rabin wants to scream or break something.
From The Course of Love by Alain de Botton:
But calm is precisely what is absent from love’s classroom. There is simply too much on the line. The “student” isn’t merely a passing responsibility; he or she is a lifelong commitment. Failure will ruin existence. No wonder we may be prone to lose control and deliver cack-handed, hasty speeches which bear no faith in the legitimacy or even the nobility of the act of imparting advice.
And no wonder, too, if we end up achieving the very opposite of our goals, because increasing levels of humiliation, anger, and threat have seldom hastened anyone’s development. Few of us ever grow more reasonable or more insightful about our own characters for having had our self-esteem taken down a notch, our pride wounded, and our ego subjected to a succession of pointed insults. We simply grow defensive and brittle in the face of suggestions which sound like mean-minded and senseless assaults on our nature rather than caring attempts to address troublesome aspects of our personality.
2 years ago today I said “I do” to this man. And I still do.
So very thankful for God’s provision.
From Everyone Brave Is Forgiven by Chris Cleave:
He moved his face close to hers. “When I said ‘I love you’ before?”
“I didn’t mean it. But now I think I do.”
“Oh yes. Oh, me too.”
Tom understood why the good actors in the movies never said it with a smile. To be in love was to understand how alone one had been before. It was to know that if one were ever alone again, there would be no exemption from the agony of it. It wasn’t the happiest feeling.
As we all know, December is crazy busy. Paul and I have thrown a potential house purchase into the chaos, and today we had a set back there. It was also another super busy work day, and I was easily annoyed by interruptions. When I heard my phone ding, I grumbled and expected bad news. Instead, I saw this:
Awwww. As I recently told him, if we’re good, it’s all good. It’s all good.
[a repost from December 2014]
From Paul Tripp’s What Did You Expect?:
Remember, the God who made lilies also made rocks. As creator, God has invested his world with difference; all things are not the same. He has made people widely different from one another. All this reflects his glory. And as sovereign, he chooses to bring different people into intimate relationship with one another for his honor and their good. Unity is not the result of sameness. Rather, unity results when love intersects with difference.
It is self-love that hates difference. It is self-love that makes you impatient. It is self-love that makes you want your own way. It is self-love that convinces you that your way is the right way. It is self-love that makes winning more attractive than unity. Love celebrates who God has made the other person to be. Love celebrates the process of working together to become one. Love celebrates the grace of change that operates in the middle of the difficulty of difference. Love prizes unity and is willing to make sacrifices to achieve it. Love turns difference into an opportunity to experience a deeper and fuller unity. Love isn’t impatient, and it does not walk away. Love perseveres. Love stays active until what God has planned becomes your actual experience. Love listens, works, and waits. Unity happens when love intersects with difference.
From A Year With C.S. Lewis:
Did you ever think, when you were a child, what fun it would be if your toys could come to life? Well suppose you could really have brought them to life. Imagine turning a tin soldier into a real little man. It would involve turning the tin into flesh. And suppose the tin soldier did not like it. He is not interested in flesh: all he sees is that the tin is being spoilt. He thinks you are killing him. He will do everything he can to prevent you. He will not be made into a man if he can help it.
What you would have done about that tin soldier I do not know. But what God did about us was this. The Second Person in God, the Son, became human Himself: was born into the world as an actual man — a real man of a particular height, with hair of a particular color, speaking a particular language, weighing so many stone. The Eternal Being, who knows everything and who created the whole universe, became not only a man but (before that) a baby, and before that a foetus inside a Woman’s body. If you want to get the hang of it, think how you would like to become a slug or a crab.
— from Mere Christianity
Well, we’re back to reality. Or almost. We got back home earlier today, and I’ve been busy unpacking, restocking the fridge, and doing laundry. I’m back on the Whole30 wagon tomorrow, so I boiled eggs, made a big salad, cut up some veggies, and have some chicken marinating.
We return rested and relaxed and grateful for our time away. Paul and I agree that we have fun traveling together and even going to Costco together. We’re grateful.
Here are a few more photos from our time away:
coffee with a nice view
not a cloud in the sky…
umbrella, multiple layers of SPF, hat, sunglasses — it’s hard to be a white girl in the sun.
nice view! 😉
chips & salsa for lunch
last evening on vacation
We stayed on 30A, and enjoyed the scenery and several good meals. Our favorites: The Great Southern Cafe (we liked it better than Bud & Alley’s), The Perfect Pig, and La Cocina Mexican Bar and Grill.
Paul appreciates a tidy house just as much as I do, but he understands that because I work full-time, it’s hard for me to get everything done. So he pitches in, and we clean together. In just an hour or so, we can knock out a lot of it. He likes to make sure the ceiling fans are clean, and he even thinks about dusting picture frames and baseboards. He does a great job cleaning the bathrooms. I dust, vacuum, replenish towels and other bathroom supplies, and take care of the laundry.
We make a good team.
It may seem like a small thing to some, but it’s huge to me.
The older I get, it seems that time moves by so much more rapidly. It’s a cliché, I know, but I really can’t believe that Paul and I have already been married for a year. It’s been a year of many adjustments, but I can truly say that it has been a good year. I’m married to a good man, and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude to God for providing for me so abundantly. May this be the first of many anniversaries with this man I love.
(Oh, and today is an Anne Day! 🙂 )